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Me, who else?

As you may have noticed, I'm new here. So what should I talk about? Should I be serious, should I be humorous (Well, try)? Current events or more personal matters? Long writing or short?

Any advice will be appreciated and, with my memory span, probably forgotten within a fortnight.
by SKIP
Sun Oct 21, 2001 8:15 am
 
Forum: HelloHello
Topic: Me, who else?
Replies: 9
Views: 445

Criticism

A few years ago, we and some of our friends went to a dance. I was asked to dance by one of these friends, a pretty little Italian girl wearing Essence of Spaghetti Sauce perfume. If I remember right, I was committing the rhumba at the time, not one of my finest works, especially after I have elimin...
by SKIP
Mon Oct 22, 2001 6:04 am
 
Forum: RealityReality
Topic: Criticism
Replies: 2
Views: 422

prehistoric man

In prehistoric times, when I was young, cave men inhabited the earth. Now cave men (cave women too) had a very limited vocabulary because the voice box had just begun it's evolution from the animal stage to that of a human. Now, I don't mean to imply that cave men were human, they were actually........
by SKIP
Tue Oct 23, 2001 6:12 am
 
Forum: JokesJokes
Topic: prehistoric man
Replies: 4
Views: 573

Cats

Since I have no idea how threads are classified, I'll just have to post here. Today Doris made chicken rice and beans. As usual I stuffed myself until I couldn't move, but that's another story. Doris is in the habit of giving her cats tidbits from the table. So what happened? Her white cat went to h...
by SKIP
Wed Oct 24, 2001 7:38 am
 
Forum: HelloHello
Topic: Cats
Replies: 23
Views: 1155

Polish

Yesterday at the Visitation Center, Doris chipped the polish on one of her nails. So she removed all the rest of the polish on that nail, intending to put on some more when we got home. She forgot until we were getting into bed. "I'll do it tomorrow." She forgot again. On the way to court, she remar...
by SKIP
Thu Oct 25, 2001 9:17 am
 
Forum: HelloHello
Topic: Polish
Replies: 9
Views: 554

Drunks

I must have a kind face. It seems that wherever I happen to be, if there's a drunk anywhere in the vicinity , he gravitates to me. And, of course, he has to start talking to me like we've known each other for years, always in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear. Then, when everybody is looking ...
by SKIP
Fri Oct 26, 2001 5:56 am
 
Forum: HelloHello
Topic: Drunks
Replies: 2
Views: 348

Mystery

The other day I took my car into the dealers to have it serviced. From there I took a bus to the court house, a fifteen or twenty minute ride. At the very next stop, a young lady, middle or late twenties, came aboard. Shoulder length blonde hair, brown eyes, tiny, maybe 5'-2" tall. She wasn't the sl...
by SKIP
Sat Oct 27, 2001 7:01 am
 
Forum: HelloHello
Topic: Mystery
Replies: 9
Views: 476

Geography

At the visitation center, a lad, some 13 or 14, remarked that I didn't know squat about geography. I didn't want to embarrass the boy, so I held my tongue except for telling him that he should respect his elders. But I resented that remark! I live in Florida. I know that Canada is up north. I also k...
by SKIP
Sun Oct 28, 2001 6:41 am
 
Forum: RealityReality
Topic: Geography
Replies: 2
Views: 415

Nocturnal wanderings

I usually get up at night to use the bathroom. On those occasions, I never put on the light because I don't want to wake Doris and also because it wakes me up fully and I prefer to remain in a fuzzy state so that when I return to bed I have an easier time falling back to sleep. Normally, I find my w...
by SKIP
Mon Oct 29, 2001 7:21 am
 
Forum: HelloHello
Topic: Nocturnal wanderings
Replies: 16
Views: 807

The witch

I saw a broom flying through the air last night. I wonder what happened to the witch?
by SKIP
Wed Oct 31, 2001 7:37 am
 
Forum: HelloHello
Topic: The witch
Replies: 1
Views: 229

Vocabulary

People who use big words just to make an impression annoy me. When I was working, a man from another department came in and asked me to read a paper he had written and check it for grammar. The title of the paper was, "An analysis of stochastic wind loads on a steel tower." As he was leaving, I shot...
by SKIP
Fri Nov 02, 2001 8:21 am
 
Forum: HelloHello
Topic: Vocabulary
Replies: 28
Views: 1621

Mrs Braglioni

I was visiting a friend and I decided to go out for a pizza. I should have had it delivered, but no, I decided to save money, but I almost lost my appetite. Apartment dwelling has many disadvantages. Walking down the stairs from the third floor apartment, I noticed that Mrs Braglioni had left her do...
by SKIP
Sat Nov 03, 2001 6:31 am
 
Forum: RealityReality
Topic: Mrs Braglioni
Replies: 1
Views: 371

Racing

I was driving into town the other day and I stopped for a red light. A kid in a 2001 red Mustang pulled up next to me. He looked at me and I looked at him. Then I challenged him by revving up my motor and he revved up his motor in acknowledgment. Then we looked at each other again. Now I drive a ‘97...
by SKIP
Sun Nov 04, 2001 6:42 am
 
Forum: HelloHello
Topic: Racing
Replies: 2
Views: 281

Vampires

If vampires sleep during the day, aren't they afraid that they'll start snoring and give away their hiding place? And say a vampire bites an elderly person who then also turns into a vampire. But this person has false teeth and is unable to bite hard enough to feed, so does he starve to death, even ...
by SKIP
Mon Nov 05, 2001 7:06 am
 
Forum: HelloHello
Topic: Vampires
Replies: 6
Views: 391

My destiny?

The other day I was at a fundraiser for the Visitation Center. It was held in a large hall with rows of long tables. They had buffet style refreshments with sandwiches. The crust had been trimmed and the sandwiches cut into quarters. You couldn't take enough of them to fill yourself without looking ...
by SKIP
Wed Nov 07, 2001 8:45 am
 
Forum: HelloHello
Topic: My destiny?
Replies: 24
Views: 1343

Pigs

Do you ever overeat? I hate it when I go to a restaurant and this happens: You eat until you're full, but there's still some left on the plate. It's not enough to take home in a doggy bag, but it's more than you can really hold. So you eat it anyway because you don't want to waste it. Then the rest ...
by SKIP
Fri Nov 09, 2001 10:05 am
 
Forum: EatOutEatOut
Topic: Pigs
Replies: 2
Views: 985

Pome

I have orders from Lizzie on the 'Hello' board to come here and write something. You whispered of your love, In the quiet hush of eve, With a voice so like the echo of a sigh.. Your lips were soft and warm, And my heart began to sing, As the blue-green sea was rushing to the shore. But someone else ...
by SKIP
Sat Nov 10, 2001 8:35 am
 
Forum: InkwellInkwell
Topic: Pome
Replies: 3
Views: 314

Love-in the other direction

When the lights are turned low, and your eyes are aglow, A silent call giving me sign. Your breath is abate, and your soft lips await, To eagerly meet up with mine. Though the nighttime is hushed, two lovers are crushed, By ecstasy's powerful spell. And we touch in the dark, thus igniting the spark,...
by SKIP
Mon Nov 12, 2001 7:12 am
 
Forum: InkwellInkwell
Topic: Love-in the other direction
Replies: 2
Views: 281

Hunger

The little girl, seven years old, was caught stealing two pancakes at the school cafeteria. The Manager asked her if she had eaten breakfast and was told that she never eats breakfast. The Manager reported it to the Principal. That night, at five o'clock, the Principal called the mother. The little ...
by SKIP
Tue Nov 13, 2001 6:37 am
 
Forum: RealityReality
Topic: Hunger
Replies: 11
Views: 733

Catricide

When I go to bed, I like it to be as quiet as the inside of a coffin, but last night was anything but quiet. There must have been a dozen cats near my window making all kinds of noise. Why do cats like to congregate outside my house? I wouldn't mind if they were quiet, but they're always laughing an...
by SKIP
Wed Nov 14, 2001 6:55 am
 
Forum: PetsPets
Topic: Catricide
Replies: 0
Views: 832

Albert Morton

Albert Morton was the brewmaster of the Moods Road at a time when Nova Scotia was dry. His corn squeezings were enjoyed almost to the town limits of Yarmouth. But Albert was a teetotaler and considered drinking to be evil, so he never tasted his own product. In order to assay the quality of his liqu...
by SKIP
Fri Nov 16, 2001 6:59 am
 
Forum: SpeakEZSpeakEZ
Topic: Albert Morton
Replies: 0
Views: 1000

Ants

Once, long, long ago, an ant an elephant fell madly in love with each other. They were married and had two little antaphants. The ant, as usual, was an industrious little fellow, but the elephant was a lazy slut who spent all her time wallowing in the muddy river, gossiping and playing cards with he...
by SKIP
Mon Nov 19, 2001 7:36 am
 
Forum: HelloHello
Topic: Ants
Replies: 1
Views: 216

Albert Morton

Albert Morton was the brewmaster of the Moods Road at a time when Nova Scotia was dry. His corn squeezings were enjoyed almost to the town limits of Yarmouth. But Albert was a teetotaler and considered drinking to be evil, so he never tasted his own product. In order to assay the quality of his liqu...
by SKIP
Wed Nov 21, 2001 5:52 am
 
Forum: HelloHello
Topic: Albert Morton
Replies: 0
Views: 194

Getting comfortable

I live in Florida and the weather here is strange at this time of year. We usually keep the thermostat at 70 degrees. So we're doing great on the cool nights, snuggled together under our cozy blankets. Then one night, it gets warm. I stick one leg out from under the covers to cool off and it feels g...
by SKIP
Thu Nov 22, 2001 7:05 am
 
Forum: HelloHello
Topic: Getting comfortable
Replies: 13
Views: 580

I hate people

The little girl, seven years old, was caught stealing two pancakes at the school cafeteria. The Manager asked her if she had eaten breakfast and was told that she never eats breakfast. The Manager reported it to the Principal. That night, at five o'clock, the Principal called the mother. The little ...
by SKIP
Sat Nov 24, 2001 7:23 am
 
Forum: HelloHello
Topic: I hate people
Replies: 1
Views: 221
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