I'm in need of a little first aid here

First Aid for the Heart
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I'm in need of a little first aid here

Postby Ed Sysop » Sun Oct 15, 2000 4:16 am

Kavakava
Member
(8/3/00 2:39:53 am)
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I've had a crush on a guy for a few years and recently let him know. Mind you,
I know him pretty well and have fallen head over heals for him. Well, he told me
he is seeing someone else and I'm trying to forget about him in the romantic
sense yet I have to see him. Every time I see him I get unnerved. What do you
do to really get over a guy. I know there is no hope there. I'm doing okay when
I keep busy.

web site: bethere
Jynxie
Member
(8/3/00 4:26:27 pm)
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Re: I'm in need of a little first aid here

Oh this sucks. I don't know of anything you can really do other than keep busy.
And maybe everytime you see him list his flaws in your head. Just don't wait
on him you know? Move on and who knows maybe it'll come around later. Good
luck however it turns out.

If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
Jynxie
Jynxie's Realm
Ed Sysop
SysOp
(8/4/00 3:02:59 pm)
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Re: I'm in need of a little first aid here

Hmmm, this is a tough one, Kava. But if you were never in a relationship
together, then it should be a bit easier. The only advice I can think of is to try
to keep your mind off him. I know that's not easy when you have to see him.
Hopefully, you'll meet someone else and that will shift your focus. No sense
wasting emotional energy on a dead end.

Kavakava
Member
(8/5/00 3:14:22 am)
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Re: I'm in need of a little first aid here

Thanks Jynxie and Ed for your replies and help. I don't find it easier though to
get over this, Ed, and I have been in relationships that have ended and this
sort of thing hurts just as bad to me because I have invested a lot in pursuing
him for a few years and thought he was interested. He acted very interested
many times it seems, even leading me on to get me to do things for him. About
not wasting emotional energy-that's a logical and instrumental (more typical of
a man to say too! )thing to say but in reality it's hard to do when you are
crazy about someone (sometimes our love can win out over our mind
emotion-wise). I guess I know in my mind there is no hope (especially how he
acted toward me yesterday-I have a business type relationship with him, you
see, and I have to see him-but in my heart I keep a tiny glimmer of hope.)
Jynxie, I guess I still hope things may change someday and I'm having a hard
time letting go and even attempting to look for someone else. I've tried looking
for another man and many have been interested but I don't think it would be
fair to them for me to pursue any of them if I feel in love with someone else and
am not even half way over him. I have been keeping busy and more so than I
was and it seems to help. One day I may be able to change things so I don't
have to see him anymore. In fact I may be able to arrange things so it is that
way. I just have to think this out for awhile first. Thanks again, people!


You are most welcome to visit my website: http://bethere.50megs.com
Crimson Rose
Member
(8/7/00 3:20:50 pm)
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Re: I'm in need of a little first aid here

Here's how to get over someone...

Go out, get drunk with friends, do silly things, and focus on trying to dance to
music pissed. This works for me. If you're too busy enjoying yourself, you're
forgetting about the pain.

It'll take time, and will be a long journey, but it CAN be done. I've done it, no
doubt everyone on this board has.

Sadly, some things are not meant to be. :@(

*hugs*

********************

There's no point in living if you can't feel alive...
Ed Sysop
SysOp
(8/7/00 4:29:15 pm)
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Re: I'm in need of a little first aid here

Yeah, you're right, Kava. It's a little easier to give advice when you're not the
one being affected, so that explains my somewhat logical approach. I know that
goes right out the window when feelings are involved, though.

Hopefully something else will catch your fancy to help take your mind off of him,
and maybe shift your interests a little. I guess that's not easy if you have
regular contact with him. Just make sure you don't eliminate other possibilities
because you're holding out for some slim hope with him.
Crimson Rose
Member
(8/8/00 5:03:59 pm)
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Re: I'm in need of a little first aid here

Take it one day at a time, and in time, you'll have travelled an entire road.

********************

There's no point in living if you can't feel alive...
Kavakava
Member
(9/4/00 3:50:13 am)
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Re: I'm in need of a little first aid here

Kavakava, coralreef here again. I've been off the boards for awhile and
watching too much tv. So here I am and I must say thanks to Ed and Crimson
for the concern and good ideas. I'd rather eat a nice icecream sundae, though,
than get drunk. But I do love to dance and I AM going to go out dancing. I
think my slim hope is gone now and I found out some stuff about this guy that
isn't too good anyway. It may be a blessing in disguise that nothing ever came
of it. I'm trying to see it that way even though I am a little down in the mouth
yet. Life goes on and I will find a nice guy to go on some fun dates with
a.s.a.p. It will get my mind off what wasn't meant to be. They say things
happen for a reason. Maybe there is another guy waiting around the corner for
me. I'll take my pepper spray just incase he's not the right one!

You are most welcome to visit my website: http://bethere.50megs.com
Raven Nyquist
Member
(9/8/00 2:12:06 am)
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Re: I'm in need of a little first aid here

*Ducks under the pepper spray*

Hey, well at least you had somebody to love.

These words come to my mind almost every day:

Don't you want somebody to love?
Don't you need... somebody to love?
Won't you want somebody to love?
Couldn't you find somebody to love?

Great song, but those words tend to haunt me...

Your first aid may be some time off of guys period, or it could be a new guy.
Who knows? Only time will tell.
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