A Third-Degree Burn

First Aid for the Heart
Ever been dumped? Or maybe going through hell from a relationship? Drop in and talk about it.

A Third-Degree Burn

Postby Ed Sysop » Sun Oct 15, 2000 4:18 am

Raven Nyquist
Member
(8/25/00 11:35:50 pm)
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After talking with many different people about this very subject, I believe this
is the reason why I am unhappy in my life. My burn is not to be taken lightly,
because it caused me quite a trauma, even though it was while I was a
teenager.

At 13, life should be just beginning for most people. My life was going on as
well as could be expected for being such an eccentric and egotistical lad. In
Eighth Grade in high school, most children are. This lad happens to be a quiet
and shy one, though, because of the constant fun poked at him because the
class did not know him. This combined with his ego made him an explosive
person in these testosterone-turmoiled years.

This person, me, hated emotional games for the same reason why he hated
getting teased - he wanted to keep his pride. In the last few years before this
"burn" he had been "girlfriending" a certain girl, let's call her Jenny, on and off
just to try and keep some sort of status among his peers, thinking that maybe
people would give him less crap if he had a girlfriend. Of course, this was not
so.

Well, I happened to want to get with this other girl (call her Sara). I would do
almost anything to go out with Sara, and she was the best looking girl in the
class. Then, one day at a lunch break, I get a note saying "Jenny wants to
talk to you." This made me wonder "NOW what?" because she dumped me the
last time we were together. I went to the gym during lunch break and saw
Jenny in the hallway to the locker rooms. This made me instantly go to the
exact opposite corner of the gym, because I didn't want to deal with that, for
I had Sara on my mind, not Jenny. A few minutes of bullshitting with friends go
by, and suddenly a friend of Jenny's comes up to me and starts talking.

"Why won't you go talk to Jenny?"

Silence. I look straight ahead.

"Do you know she's crying?"

I say, "What?"

"Yeah, she's crying because she wants to talk to you, and you've been
avoiding her for over a year now."

"Oh great, so what am I supposed to do?

"Talk to her."

So I go, being the nicer side of me doesn't like hurting people's feelings, and I
talk to her for 15 minutes. By that time, I calmed Jenny down, and she told me
she wanted to go out with me, this time more seriously. I told her I would think
about it, just give me time.

Through some convincing by some of my friends, especially by my best friend,
I went back out with her. Things were happy for two weeks. We talked all the
time to each other, held hands, spread our affection on thick, just like any
young teen would do in the early 90's (before young teens got pregnant at 14
in my hometown). Then, two weeks later, a Jr. High Dance started up. I asked
her to go, and she said she'd be there. She didn't show up, and her reason I
talked out of her the next day was that she didn't want to go. I asked why,
and all I got was "because". I was salty about this, but I did keep talking to
her.

Another couple of weeks flew by, and we set a date to go to a party and
meet. Yeah, there were drinks there and all... where I'm from you start drinking
young as compared to most Americans. I showed up stag as normally, and
tried to mingle with the crowd. Three hours later, I was wondering where
Jenny was, and it seemed like everyone didn't know. One of her friends said,
"She was here earlier, but I haven't seen her in a while." This immediately got
me suspicious, but I still sort of blew it off.

Then I went to the bathroom. There's two bathrooms in the house, one in the
basement, and one interconnecting the bedrooms. One of my buds took the
one in the basement, so I decided to go upstairs. I opened the door to the
master bedroom, and... I found my girlfriend in an orgy with a friend of mine
and another guy and a girl who were supposed to be a couple. Of course, you
have the classic stop, drop the mouth open for a couple of seconds
(everyone), and the recomposure moment. I simply yelled the only words that
I could: "NO MORE. BYE." then slammed the door so hard the knob got ripped
off. I then fumed, punching both walls with my fists until I got to the bottom
of the stairs, where I plopped down and just cried my eyes out. By now the
party totally stopped. My best friend walked over and consoled me and
convinced me to call my mom for a ride home after almost a half hour. I
haven't looked the same at women since that night.
fez
ForumOp
(8/27/00 3:17:31 pm)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

I can see what you mean. Your first encounter with a broken heart came at
such a young age... and boy what an entrance!

I did notice a few signs of hope in your story :Your use of pronouns. In the
early part of the story, you spoke of yourself in the third party "He hated
getting teased". This is an open sign that you are no longer that troubled boy.

Later as the next hardship came up, you went back to the first party. "I found
my girlfriend in an orgy" Remember you are not the same person you were
then. You are stronger. Once you start to see that boy as a former version of
yourself, and not your current self, it may change your outlook.

Look at the women you have met since, there must be a few good ones that
make you realize that not all women are going to cheat on you like that one
did.

Fez
Just a guy in a funny hat!
AfterHoursBBS.com member since the early 90's
Raven Nyquist
Member
(8/28/00 12:31:15 am)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

Here's where the really bad part starts (why it's a third-degree burn).

Out of the women I've liked enough to even try to date, I have found that:

A) I say something to tick them off or scare them away
B) Have gotten to know me well enough that they figured something like this
has to have happened and stay away because they didn't want to deal with
that baggage
C) They HAVE cheated.

I saw the movie Eyes Wide Shut for the first time a couple of months ago. In
the movie, the torment Tom Cruise's character goes through I go through
every day. The images of that night still burn through my mind.

There are a few good women I have met. The problem is that they are all
taken.

And I am still a lot like the person whom I mentioned in the first paragraph,
just an older version.
fez
ForumOp
(8/28/00 1:42:19 pm)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

We have similar problems with women... all the good ones seem to be taken.

The truth is there are some good ones left, but I think we tend to look in the
wrong places. We need to picture in our mind the type of woman we want,
and figure out if we are truly taking steps to find her. In my case, I've learned
that I need to find somebody who shares my faith, so I'm seeking out women
in the Christian community.

I've also considered a professional dating service. I've heard of places that do
big interviews with both the men and the women, and they make introductions
based upon the personalities of the people coming to them. They charge a flat
fee and then you keep meeting new people through them until you find a good
match.

The point is that there are still some good ones out there, we just have to fing
them. I don't think that the problem is as deeply rooted in that past trauma
you had. If a good woman comes along, you will not scare them off. If it
seems like you have been doing that, perhaps you are testing them in order to
protect yourself from further hurt.

The only way around that is to trust them a bit more up front, and hope that
you have picked a good one that doesn't need testing.

Fez
Just a guy in a funny hat!
AfterHoursBBS.com member since the early 90's
Raven Nyquist
Member
(8/28/00 9:27:38 pm)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

You do have a good point, and I do have a strong defense against being
burned (or having that feeling). I not only test women, but I test everyone.
Hmmm... no wonder I only seem to have the few friends I got .

Disclaimer: "Good ones" are women who jell with me well. "Bad ones" don't jell
with me. I've known very nice, attractive, and very intellectual women who
are "bad ones". I thought I would clear that up, just in case .

I have gotten to the point where I don't even go to church anymore, because
all I want to do there is meet women. I do not believe church is meant to meet
women.

Ya know, I think I know what my problem is. Maybe if I stop looking I may
find someone . I know many a guy who told me they met their wives right
after they "stopped looking". It's so simple, it might just work...

I think the reason why this occurs is because when men "stop looking" they
drop their "firewall" and show their true coolness. I've been working on that,
except I happen to be one of those people who would show their emotions to
the EXTREME. I get pumped when things go my way, and I get really really
down and frustrated when things do not work out. My emotions are at the
surface, and I hide them now almost all the time. The few times I let go are in
sports and at home when I'm deeply depressed or angry. Yes, I cry. Not often,
but when I do, my pillow's soaked.

NOTE: Any time I mention this, people seem to go, "Awwwww, the guy cries at
night." All I have to say is this:
SHUDDAP, YOU DO TOO.

My parents have some true tales about some of my explosive emotional
responses while I was a kid. Some of them are actually quite funny.

TRUST. Big, big issue with me. I don't trust myself. I don't truly trust anybody
in real life with the truth about me. But of course That Night isn't the only time
I've been burned, but it has been the only time in a relationship.

RELAXATION. Another key issue. I sink in water because I can't relax. It's not
fear of water, it's the fact that I never relax. I don't even think when I sleep I
relax.

TEMPERMENT. I am a highly tempermental person, possibly because of the
first two. You don't want to see me on a bad day. You will be scared.

I know that I can only help myself, but I would like to know something other
than what Dr. Whocares likes to offer to help me. I hear good advice all day
long, but I know where good intentions lead...
fez
ForumOp
(8/29/00 1:12:13 am)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

You raise some great points there. If we lower our guard a bit, potential
women can see a better view of us. Even if that's not the view they are
looking for, we still win. It's better to have a woman pass us by when they see
a sensitive type, than to see a phoney cover up of that side. The same things
that may make a few women pass us up, are the same things that will attract
the women that fit us.

By saying the best way to find somebody is to stop looking is another good
point, but I will add one thing: It's okay to stop looking (or searching), but
keep your eyes open so you will see her when she arrives.

Fez
Just a guy in a funny hat!
AfterHoursBBS.com member since the early 90's
Jynxie
Member
(8/29/00 2:43:45 am)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

I should probably stay out of this. You two seem to have it figured out pretty
well. I was going to say stop looking, but you got that one already. When you
meet the right one you just kind of click and that defense wall you put up
doesn't matter anymore. She'll see through it and be patient and
understanding. Trust me, if anyone understands baggage it's women. We get
that totally. Most of us have it. You two are just on the baggie side instead of
the bagger side. LOL You like that one? I thought it was kind of funny, but
now I have this image of my local bag boy putting people in giant brown bags.
Not a good visual.

If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
Jynxie
Jynxie's Realm
sleepless
Member
(8/29/00 3:55:05 pm)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

Well, we all have our disappointments, however, if
something that happened at age 13 stops you from
living, you are not giving a fair chance to life...
fez
ForumOp
(8/29/00 4:12:41 pm)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

Quite profound.

Yes, I'm a baggie, not a bagger. I've never bagged, but I've been bagged. I'd
like to bag a nice girl, but then I'd be a bagger... right? That's okay as long as
neither of us bring our baggage then it's not so bad, because we can get into
the same bag together.

Fez
Just a guy in a funny hat!
AfterHoursBBS.com member since the early 90's
Crimson Rose
Member
(8/29/00 4:48:35 pm)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

my solution to the dilema(after the Nienke debacle...) is be a psychotic bitch
and fuck up the heads of any bastard or bitch who wishes to fuck with you.

but this is my solution, and given I'm loopy anyway, it kinda makes sense...

********************

There's no point in living if you can't feel alive...
Jynxie
Member
(8/29/00 10:55:53 pm)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

Fuck over before you get fucked over? Or is it more like Fuck me over and
suffer the consequences?

If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
Jynxie
Jynxie's Realm
Raven Nyquist
Member
(8/29/00 11:22:18 pm)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

Fuck them over and fuck with their heads to the point that they plot out
fucking you over.

I've experienced that, too.

sleepless, I've got more Issues than Korn has songs on that very album. I
just haven't let the cat out of the bag yet.

Crimson, I've been doing your idea for a while, and if the first line hasn't given
you a hint, it doesn't help.

Lastly, I'm so much of a baggie that I probably could tattoo Ziploc on me.

All I want is a chance to show someone who gives a damn how much I truly
lock inside. I almost believe that is the main reason why I like Christina
Aguilera; her songs usually mention that ideal, especially "Genie in a Bottle."
Now I'm no Genie, but I do look good in jeans .

The Ravenrock Bar and Grill is my home. I bartend the joint and even though the topic
is hard rock/heavy metal music, Bartender Raven will BS about almost anything.

Crimson Rose
Member
(8/31/00 2:07:19 pm)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

No, I mean out fuck the fucker. Beat them at their own game.

And be nice to the nice people. They've earnt that niceness.

********************

There's no point in living if you can't feel alive...
Raven Nyquist
Member
(9/1/00 1:22:07 am)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

It's hard to outfuck so many fuckers. They tend to gang up and turn it on you.
Jynxie
Member
(9/1/00 1:25:47 am)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

If we are going to continue discussing outfucking the fuckers maybe we should
move this to the sex section of these forums???

If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
Jynxie
Jynxie's Realm
Crimson Rose
Member
(9/1/00 4:57:26 pm)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

LOL!!!

jynxie, your wisdom prevails ;@)

********************

We the willing. Led by the unknowing. Are doing the impossible. For the Ungrateful.
We do so much with so little. We now can do almost anything with nothing.
Raven Nyquist
Member
(9/2/00 4:40:15 pm)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

Good one! Where in the fuck is that fucking fuck.wav (it's about the uses of
the word "fuck") file at? I think it would go fucking nicely here.

Geez that sounds like a line off Scarface...
Kavakava
Member
(9/4/00 4:21:35 am)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

Hi. I'm glad they got you laughing. I've been through quite a bit and got
thoroughly fucked over as a kid, 13 and 24, 36 and a few other times. I know
you have too and I am sorry you had to see all the dark stuff of humans as I
did. I have experienced the very thing you wrote of right in front of my face
like I did not even matter. I am very much a loner now and I enjoy it for the
most part because it's been my way to avoid all the f.ers. I've played the
games of I will f you before you f me and then all the other f.ing games, too. I
think risking trust is important although I'm not a good one to tell you. I trust
but little increments at a time. I'm a tester, too. I never throw out the whole
ball of wax for anyone to see as I know you do not either. That's our total
vulnerability that was smashed to pieces. We know all the sides of people by
experience. Sounds like a scary world to be in, no? I try, though, to enjoy my
loneness still. I find fun stuff to do like movies, comedy, cooking. I gave up on
ever finding anyone again, really. But I've been wrong before. Maybe I'm wrong
again and there is somebody who will like and love me for me. I will have FAITH
and HOPE and try to strengthen them. I hope you find someone good for you.
To me, sometimes it seems like I want that but there is also dread there. Bad
experiences over and over do that to us. It's like we get programmed. I just
started seeing a therapist and hope that helps. Another way I was burned was
through the ones I loved dying. When you put all your dreams with someone
and then they up and die on you before the dreams can happen-the one you
wanted for the rest of your life, the one you wanted children with, the one
you wanted to live with till you die. I guess I must have unconsciously told
myself never again. I got some issues to work on for sure. Wanted to share my
pain with you and let you know that I feel yours, too, and hope things will get
better. Hope I didn't bring you down-I'm just down now. Let's start having
faith and hope, though, that things will get better. Damn, can they get worse?


You are most welcome to visit my website: http://bethere.50megs.com
Raven Nyquist
Member
(9/8/00 1:58:27 am)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

I think I need to give up hope, and let the lucky one find me instead.

And yes, they can get much worse. I know this to be true.
fez
ForumOp
(9/8/00 2:44:58 pm)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

"I think I need to give up hope, and let the lucky one find me instead."

I've made the same decision myself. I firmly believe once I stop looking for her,
she will find me.

Fez
Just a guy in a funny hat!
AfterHoursBBS.com member since the early 90's
Raven Nyquist
Member
(9/9/00 11:47:59 pm)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

The funniest thing about that is: I'm hard to find.

My friends even notice how I just seem to silently move from one place to
another hiding spot. With the way I look all the time people seem to keep
away, too. It's not what I wear: it's my extremely depressing face I have
normally.

I don't smile much.

I laugh only at goofy, cynical, non-pc jokes.

My eyes sometimes are bloodshot from staring at computer screens all day
long.

I'm tired usually during the day, and awake at night.

Besides work and necessities, I rarely go out and do things. I spend a LOT of
time in my dorm room making music and editing webpages and playing video
games...

All this adds up to a lot of wierd gossip floating around about you at work. And
I HATE gossip.
fez
ForumOp
(9/10/00 12:08:59 am)
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Re: A Third-Degree Burn

Nobody ever gossips about me, and that sucks too. My reputation is not too
many notches between Greg Brady and the Pope. I'd love a good Fez scandal,
something meaty that will keep 'em wondering and allow me to never enter
politics.

I wouldn't worry about what people think. Worry about what they know to be
true, because when all is said and done people forget anything that was never
known to be fact. Deep down you know the truth. You are a good man inside
who may seem a little mysterious on the outside.

Let 'em keep guessing, while you know the truth. The truth shall set you free.

As long as they are trying to figure you out and creating gossip... give 'em a
good show. Pass people by from time to time with a hard-hat on and an egg
beater or a hand mixer in your hands... or other things that'll keep them in
suspense. If anyone asks why the hard hat and blender... just say "you'll see".

Fez
Just a guy in a funny hat!
AfterHoursBBS.com member since the early 90's
Kafka Liz
Member
(9/10/00 7:13:36 am)
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ReThe only thing worse than being talked about...

well, y'all know the rest, I'm sure.

Screw gossip. The folks who care about you know better, and as for the
rest...
Raven Nyquist
Member
(9/11/00 3:44:10 am)
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Re: ReThe only thing worse than being talked about...

Heh heh heh... if only it were that simple.

I will explain soon.
Kafka Liz
Member
(9/11/00 5:59:22 am)
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Re: ReThe only thing worse than being talked about...

Sorry to hear that. It happens sometimes, unfortunately. Hope it sorts itself
out for ya.
Crimson Rose
Member
posts: 2015
(9/14/00 4:05:00 pm)
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Re: ReThe only thing worse than being talked about...

Peoplem love a good mystery. So a mysterious person would interest people.

********************

We the willing. Led by the unknowing. Are doing the impossible. For the Ungrateful.
We do so much with so little. We now can do almost anything with nothing.
User avatar
Ed Sysop
 
Posts: 8677
Joined: Mon Oct 09, 2000 5:00 pm
Location: NYC

Postby Ed Sysop » Sun Oct 15, 2000 4:20 am

Raven Nyquist
Member
posts: 101
(9/15/00 3:10:28 am)
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Re: ReThe only thing worse than being talked about...

The only thing worse than being talked about is when those lies can come
back to get you.

It happens in politics, even at the lowest levels. As it happens in politics, this
problem happens in many other places, for instance college and high school.
Trust me, I know. I've been accused of too many stupid things to not believe
this.

In real life I don't talk much at all, unless I need to. I don't talk much mainly
because I have found that standing for what I believe in cannot be spoken to
the ignorance of a crowd. This leads to people making up wild ass ideas about
the way you are, since you don't tell them.

I'm not popular, nor do I want to be. I just want people to accept me the way
I am instead of change me. I hate people who blatantly question what I
believe, because most of the time these strong-willed people are also very,
VERY narrow-minded.

You might ask right now: What do I believe?
I believe that you should do the best you can at what you want to do for your
own self-satisfaction. When you do this the result should end up favorable
both ways.
I believe that sometimes people go the wrong way because they want to.
I believe the world is strangely perfect, yet stupidly dying from people thinking
that they can make everything better. Don't make shit better, just make it
liveable. This may mean about 1 billion people will have to die to ease
overcrowding, but then again that's only a start.
I believe that the people of the world will someday show the people of the
world why they are messing up. Nobody's right or really wrong, just ignorant.
I believe love is meant to be forever, but daily lives kill it sometimes. It's when
people don't care about the consequences that love becomes powerful, and
I'm not ready to accept the consequences.
I believe that there are more than one soulmates, and love should be given
every day.
I believe love should be shared in the wary eye of evil people.
I believe I could practice what I preach if I wouldn't get told to shut up when I
do.
I believe people should have fun at nobody's cost.
I believe people who are self-centered show their fakeness quickly.
I believe some people win, some people lose, but there's always another day
until you die.
I believe almost anything's possible, yet most are not practical.
I believe that if you think what I am writing about is stupid, then maybe you
should write down what you truthfully believe instead of making fun of it, since
you're too chicken. (this one's for all the jerks)
Crimson Rose
Member
posts: 2034
(9/15/00 5:13:24 pm)
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Re: ReThe only thing worse than being talked about...

And I believed you was a big black bird... silly me...

********************

We the willing. Led by the unknowing. Are doing the impossible. For the Ungrateful.
We do so much with so little. We now can do almost anything with nothing.
Raven Nyquist
Member
posts: 107
(9/15/00 9:33:47 pm)
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Quoth the Raven...

Or a WCW wrestler...
fez
ForumOp
posts: 833
(9/16/00 12:58:54 am)
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What you believe in...

Just by taking the time to write out what you believe, I can see you are a man
of good character. You wrote about the things that matter to you and that
shows.

At the heart of most of what your saying is the Golden Rule, "Do unto others
as you would have done to you". People should do the best they can, try to
love and respect eachother and be as truthful to others as they are to
themself.

Fez
Just a guy in a funny hat!
AfterHoursBBS.com member since the early 90's
Jynxie
Member
posts: 202
(9/17/00 10:30:30 pm)
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Re: ReThe only thing worse than being talked about...

Well I believe what you wrote was beautiful and incredibly personal and
intimate and that most people don't have the courage to say what they
believe.

If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
Jynxie
Jynxie's Realm
Raven Nyquist
Member
posts: 115
(9/18/00 4:43:47 pm)
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Heh... riiiiiiiiiiiight...

I believe talk is cheap, yet fun over the internet.
I believe one should not always try to find the brightest side of a situation.
(yes, that has a good reason to be here)
I believe life is a balance between good and evil.
I believe people should not always be so supportive of someone so sincere - it
is a false support. (dittoes on the reason to be here)
I believe people are judged unfairly, and there's nothing you can do about your
judging people unfairly, minus education.
I believe changes can be made to better someone's life only if that person
wants to better her/his life.
I believe I talk too much on the internet.
I believe I don't want to be supported, unless I really really ask for it (yes, I
know I was earlier).
I believe that I am a tired person. Tired of people being ignorant the way they
are, tired of so many bullshit beliefs in many different aspects, tired of knowing
so damn much about life without experiencing it.
I believe my only friends will be the ones who don't go out much, either.
Maybe that's why they're not the assholes and jerks I see.
I believe I'm very hard to get along with. Just ask a couple of coworkers.
I believe fun isn't fun without danger involved. This scares some people.
I believe my life is not worth too much, yet I do know a lot of
non-important-to-the-meaning-of-life-stuff.
I believe since my life is not worth too much I will live it to the fullest for the
ones who do.
I believe I've been depressed ever since I met women.
I believe I'm allergic to women.
I believe I become prejudiced quickly.
I believe everyone becomes prejudiced quickly, too.

You see, I've grown tired of someone who can help me, for:

Quote:

The greatest help is the help we give ourselves...


and

Quote:

You can't love someone if you don't love yourself...




I've been late to work several times because of staying up at night thinking
about women.
I've hated people just because they would always try to "hook me up".
I've hated men who try to show me how to hook up with a woman.
I've hated women just because there was one or two things wrong with them
(in I mean their character from my point of view).
I've hated women who approach me (and I've been asked straight out "Would
you like to come to bed with me?" sincerely before).
I've REALLY hated some of the nicest ugly women I know.
I've loved some women who knew how to burn me.
I've loved some women who loved me back, but there was one or two things in
the way (usually a guy).

Gee, would this be a perplexing situation? I don't know, maybe...
sleepless
Member
posts: 517
(9/19/00 1:50:11 pm)
Reply | Edit | Del


Re: Heh... riiiiiiiiiiiight..

Well than, all you need is a big knife too, and you be
set to scare us all off (women that is)!
By the way, is this similar to your work situation...?

<img src="http://www.comic-asylum.freeserve.co.uk/newgraham17.jpg" border=0>
Crimson Rose
Member
posts: 2069
(9/19/00 4:06:22 pm)
Reply | Edit | Del



Re: Heh... riiiiiiiiiiiight..

It's Dilbert done beavis style...

********************

We the willing. Led by the unknowing. Are doing the impossible. For the Ungrateful.
We do so much with so little. We now can do almost anything with nothing.
Raven Nyquist
Member
posts: 118
(9/19/00 5:38:31 pm)
Reply | Edit | Del


Re: Heh... riiiiiiiiiiiight..

Not exactly, but that is funny...

You are right that I do get comments about me not smiling a lot, mainly
because I have little reason to smile at work.

Quote:

A cold heart is a dead heart. Blade


Is this why I feel this way? I always feel this dark pit where my heart is
supposed to be, and no, it's not indigestion.
Jynxie
Member
posts: 224
(9/19/00 6:13:55 pm)
Reply | Edit | Del



Re: Heh... riiiiiiiiiiiight...

I'm a little confused here Raven. And maybe I am the only one confused,
maybe I am the only one that read your long posts completely. Here's my
quandry:
It seemed to me you came here and told your story in hopes of getting
help/advice/support. And then we give it to you and then you kind of get on
us for doing so.

Quote:

I believe people should not always be so supportive of someone so
sincere - it is a false support. (dittoes on the reason to be here)




And:

Quote:

I believe I don't want to be supported, unless I really really ask for
it (yes, I know I was earlier).




And:

Quote:

I believe talk is cheap, yet fun over the internet.
I believe one should not always try to find the brightest side of a
situation. (yes, that has a good reason to be here)




So which is it? Are we good for trying to be nice and sincerely help? Or do we
suck because we are trying to help? You want us to listen and help and then
you act like we're full of shit because we do. That's a pretty fucked up thing
to do to people that are only trying to help. It seems the only one being false
here is maybe you?

I mean what did you want us to say, "Fuck you stop being such a whiney
bastard. You did this to yourself fucking grow-up and deal with it. Because
you're the only freak with these issues"? I'm sorry but that's just not the truth
of the matter. Everyone has relationship problems if we didn't we'd all end up
marrying that boy/girl we shared our cookies with in 1st grade at lunchtime.
The truth of things is that it's hard. It's all hard, life, work, relationships,
everything. We've all had our share of hard times, some of us more than
others. And yes having some girl(s) treat you like crap sucks, but it's not the
worst thing in the world. And pardon us for trying to commiserate with you. To
show you that things are hard, but life goes on and it gets better. But there
are lots of people out there, male and female, that have gone through the
same type of things, and they just want someone to be good to them. Just
like you do. And I am sure you will find the right girl for you, but if you don't
well then you really have no one to blame but yourself. I mean honestly, the
only thing standing in your way is you.

I mean dear boy make a decision. Do you want us to help or hinder? Tell you it
will be ok or tell you you're a freak? It will be ok and you're probably a freak,
but damn who here isn't?

If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
Jynxie
Jynxie's Realm
sleepless
Member
posts: 519
(9/21/00 2:07:34 pm)
Reply | Edit | Del


Re: Heh... riiiiiiiiiiiight..

Glad you like it...
Raven Nyquist
Member
posts: 120
(9/24/00 10:06:00 am)
Reply | Edit | Del


Thank you Jynxie...

Wow, that was cool. For once someone with the guts to yell at me. I really
don't like people who try so hard to be constructive with absolutely everything
- I tend to like people who also like to cause a little destruction. Not too
much, mind you, but just a little. To me that makes a complete person, and I
hate it when people don't show more of themselves and hide behind masks.
About the only mask I have here is my true identity, and that will stay that
way for personal security.

Jynxie, you've proven to me that you are by no means boring and have the
"cajones" to tell it like it is, and those are two great things to have in a
person, IMHO. I really wanted to see what people would say if I got on their
nerve. I do still believe those things.

Quote:

I mean dear boy make a decision. Do you want us to help or
hinder?


My problem is a lack of confidence and unbelievable confusion, not just in
relationships, but all the time. This, of course, means that I am no good at
making decisions. To illustrate:

I believe there's more than one way to get things done.
I believe that theorems on religion, if you mix the similar traits all together, will
give you what you should believe. (yet I'm Lutheran)
I believe there's many names for the Higher Power up above who controls what
happens here.
I believe lots of people my age put on an act to get what they want. I hate
that call their asses out on it.
I believe I will hate myself for dating a woman I think is ugly.
I believe I am ugly. Inside and out.
I believe I have a lot of anger in myself, and don't want to hurt people with
that aggression.
I believe that people do not understand how much anger and aggression I
have in myself.
I believe many people may think I'm smart, but I know I'm not smart.
User avatar
Ed Sysop
 
Posts: 8677
Joined: Mon Oct 09, 2000 5:00 pm
Location: NYC

Postby Ed Sysop » Thu Oct 19, 2000 2:43 am

There's no question about it, Raven. Jynxie says what's on her mind, and she knows what she's talking about!
User avatar
Ed Sysop
 
Posts: 8677
Joined: Mon Oct 09, 2000 5:00 pm
Location: NYC


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