Help, please

First Aid for the Heart
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Help, please

Postby Ed Sysop » Sun Oct 15, 2000 4:20 am

posts: 9
(9/24/00 11:02:23 am)
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I could use some help here if anyone can. There is this guy, we will call him
Rob, that I love with all of my heart. He is in the Navy and is far away right
now. I fell in love with him in 97, and is still in love with him. We became
really good friends to the point where I fall in love with him. He would go one
leave and I would see him then. I know that I should have told him my
feelings right away, but didn't. At the beginning of this year I did finally tell
him. He said that he had the same feelings then but wasn't sure now. He also
said that we would try it when he came home. When he did finally came
home, he act like I told him nothing about how I felt or told him. Yeah we
talked about it, but everytime that we did those two words would always
come up "just friends". He didn't even give "us" the chance. He said that I
should get on with my life and I have tried. It hurts to even say his name
without sheading the tears. I just found out that he really means that I shold
get on with my life, he is starting to date where he is. I love him so much
that I started to cry when I read that in a letter that he wrote to me. I have
loved him for so long and that is what I get.
Well I have moved on, there is this gut that we have been chatting for awhile
now. He is coming to visit me in Dec. and I hope that we do all in love with
each other. But the question is how do I get Rob out of my heart, when I still
love him the most?? Please anyone help me with this.
Ed Sysop
posts: 2238
(9/24/00 1:26:49 pm)
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Re: Help, please

Your memories of Rob will never go away, and you shouldn't try to get him
out of your mind.

Instead, remember the things that you liked about him, and keep the nice
memories. As you learn to move on and you meet other people, you'll soon
have a bunch of memories to compare and think back on. It'll eventually help
you choose who you want to be with long-term.

At this stage, it may also be better to try to get to know a lot of guys. This
way, you don't put all of your emotional eggs in one basket. It's perfectly
natural for people to go out with each other....and then break up!!! And the
more people you get to know, the better your chances of finding someone
who you really get along with.

I hope this latest one with the chatting works out. Are you talking online?
Hope you're not TOO far away from each other...that seems to be a big
problem these days. In fact, someone on here from NY met their current
girlfriend in Kentucky. Until they decide if they'll be moving in together, the
plane fare is a problem.

Hope you'll keep us posted on progress, KJ.
posts: 11
(9/24/00 3:21:33 pm)
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Re: Help, please

Thanks Ed. Yes me and the guy are chatting online. We live about 11 hours
about and 2 1/2 states apart, so we aren't that far apart. Yeah we are taking
it slow and easy, because we both just got out of bad relationships. He used
to live in PA then followed his ex g/f there, then she dumped him. He will be
home for three months and we are going to get together and try things out.
We exchanged pic's and phone numbers already. I really hope that thi one
works out too. Thanks again Ed
posts: 885
(9/24/00 4:23:04 pm)
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Re: Help, please

I know the feeling. I've had my share of women I've loved who only regard me
as a "Friend".

It's not easy, but after a while you get used to it. In my case I have kept the
friendships and didn't walk away after hearing the "friend" word. Those
friendships actually got stronger and stronger, and I don't regret having them.

Seek out other friendships and relationships, but you don't have to end your
existing friendship. In time, if there is more than a friendship potential in a
relationship, it will blossom. If not, enjoy the friendship for what it is.

Just a guy in a funny hat! member since the early 90's
posts: 12
(9/24/00 10:56:09 pm)
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Re: Help, please

Thanks Fex. I will try that, but right now Rob is being a funking jerk.
Raven Nyquist
posts: 131
(9/26/00 8:34:00 pm)
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Re: Help, please

Love is a many painful thing.

The only things which will save you from enduring great amounts of pain is
that patience is a virtue, and it's possible there's other "Rons" out there. I still
need to learn this, myself, and for me it's been forever too long of a wait.

And I've heard that "be friends" line too many times. I also can
guaran-damn-tee you that Ron has changed since he joined the Navy
(personal experience applies here), so he may not even be the same person
you once knew. I understand you've been chatting with him, but I'll bet he's
at least a little different.
posts: 14
(9/27/00 9:16:12 am)
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Re: Help, please

THanks Raven,I know that time and space is what is needed and that is what
I am giving to myself. No I am not chatting with he it is the other guy that I
am chatting with and we will call him, Mike.
Raven Nyquist
Veteran Member
posts: 132
(10/4/00 7:32:06 pm)
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Re: Help, please

Well, good luck with Mike!
Active Member
posts: 20
(10/10/00 12:33:24 am)
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Re: Help, please

Thanks Raven, I hope it does work out for the best.
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Ed Sysop
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Location: NYC

Postby Ed Sysop » Thu Oct 19, 2000 2:40 am

Uh oh, hey Kathy Jo, I don't think you made it over here yet!!??!?!??!

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Ed Sysop
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Joined: Mon Oct 09, 2000 5:00 pm
Location: NYC

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